The Importance in Choosing Yourself and How it Builds Self-Confidence

Importance in Choosing Yourself and How it Builds Confidence

I have taken a LOT of trips around the sun, and I’ve had a lot of, let’s say, EXPERIENCE in fielding both the sideways glances and certain levels of disapproval from all kinds of people.

When our confidence relies on external approval, it tends to be fragile. Sadly, self-belief disappears the moment someone disapproves. However, most of us are guilty of throwing all our eggs in the same basket. I think it is an age old question:

What do I need to back up myself and my decisions, so my confidence stays intact?

Lets make this blog about taking this subject in a positive direction.

            How about we challenge ourselves and reframe negative talk?

Identify negative self‑talk (I’m not good enough) and replace it with balanced, affirmations (I’ve had success with X, and I will learn from my mistakes).  Don’t let someone else decide how you feel about yourself.

I wasn’t ever taught to ignore mistakes, quite the opposite. But by seeing and feeling the effects of negative self-talk, I realized just how susceptible I was/am to it. Let’s change the narrative. Just by talking nice to yourself, you can shift your personal perception from inadequate to worthy of praise and growth. Go on…Give it a try!

               You are Worthy!

Although I’m one who poo-poos those who seem to disapprove of me or my “direction” the negative feelings they share do affect me. 

How can we shore up our defenses and not lose our self-confidence? Lets look at a couple tools to slip into your toolbox.

             Positive psychology exercises 

First off, doing these to yourself might feel goofy at first, but I truly believe that practice makes perfect. I have a black belt that took almost 6 years to achieve. It didn’t happen overnight, and I can’t count the number of times I practiced and repeated those exercises before I did them right.

I’m sure psychological exercises are easier to pin down, but they still require practice. Focus on self-compassion, goal reflection, and replacing negative self-talk with positive affirmations. These exercises can be downloaded and practiced regularly to reinforce self-belief.

             Start small

Rome wasn’t built in a day. Use one or two exercises daily and build consistency. Once you feel the first couple exercised become more natural, then use a couple more. Build your toolbox of self-worth strategies.

           Thought Records

 Great idea! Use situations where something happened that shook your confidence. Break down situations, review your automatic thoughts and emotions, and reframe the narrative.

             Lean on those you love and love you

Surround yourself with people who uplift and encourage growth. Although they’re not always workmates, they are mates and great minds think alike. By no means should you let your friends use negative self-talk either. That would not be good.

You are in control of your actions, right? You choose to react; it’s your choice! Choose to be the duck and let the bad stuff just roll off your feathers, rather than the thick soul of a muddy boot hidden in layers of muck. There is nothing like the kind of confidence you’ll have if its built on self-choice. It’s the kind that lasts.

Every time you choose yourself, you prove to your own mind that you are capable, worthy, and resilient. You’ll stop needing permission. You stop needing applause. You stop needing to be chosen. You become the one who chooses.

When you are faced with odds that give you those negative vibes, just smile. Know you have the power to change the world!