All Preparation no H

All Preparation and No “H” 

Many of us struggle to follow through on projects we start. For me, it often comes down to a fear of failure—an underlying reason I don’t always finish what I begin. Building self-esteem is a process. It means shifting your inner voice from a critic to a coach. It’s not about believing you’re perfect; it’s about recognizing your inherent worth, flaws and all. 

Coach or Critic? 

Most people don’t realize they talk to themselves in ways they would never accept from a colleague or a friend. 

Look: 

• What if you spoke to your best friend the way you speak to yourself? Instead of criticizing yourself for what you think you should or shouldn’t have done, imagine you’re talking to someone you care about. 
• What have you said to yourself that you would never say to a friend? 
• How does putting yourself down help solve the problem? 

Think: 

• How can I improve my attitude toward myself? Here are a few ways to replace self-abuse with support. 
• Keep a small journal or use a phone notes app to log negative thoughts when they appear. This helps identify recurring, harmful "scripts". 
• Instead of "Why am I failing?", ask, "[Name], why are you struggling with this?" This technique boosts emotional regulation and reduces anxiety. 
• This is my personal favorite. If forced positivity feels fake, try neutral language. Change "I am a failure" to "I made a mistake, and I can choose the next step". 

The Trap of Social Comparison 

In the digital age, it's easy to compare our "behind-the-scenes" self-images to everyone else’s "highlight reel."  

Most of us glance at magazines, social media posts, and prom queens (or kings) and compare what we have and who we are to that. Take a deep breath and get them out of your mind. 

Look: 

• Stop measuring your worth against a filtered reality, because it truly is that. Filtered. It’s fair to say that we use the same thought process teens often do when scanning social media. We are looking at an altar-reality.
• Most of what you see is not real. The only fair comparison is to you, yourself. 

Think: 

• Recognize what prompts you to compare (e.g., career, appearance) and challenge the distortion that your life is lesser. 
• Define your own values and goals, rather than trying to replicate others' achievements. 
• Turn envy into inspiration by learning from those you admire, rather than feeling diminished by them. Curating your digital environment (unfollowing accounts that make you feel "less than"). 

Forgive me for saying so, but all of us (yes, that means you) are perfect already. We are walking- talking miracles, and so much of what you think and feel has been skewed by the media. Please note that the bold words above go hand in hand. What you think influences how you feel.  

As you walk through the day, week, or months ahead, take a minute to tell yourself just how amazing you are, because it's true!